Financial Cryptography

DSD launches Cyber Warfare - on my machine...

I'm sitting here minding my own business in early hours of Sunday morning - OK, completing a risks analysis - and my machine starts churning away. Now, if you're an old time guy like me, you'll probably recall when cycles were expensive, kilobytes had deep emotional meaning, and noise delta was trauma. Either way, even though I have the late-gen Mac Air and it has very nice heat management, as well as more sex-appeal than any 10 shares in Facebook, I remain ... sensitive!

Hunting around, I find that the culprit: google's Chrome. Ok, so what page? Well, none and all of them - Google's algorithm seems to have decided to cover my surfin sites with adverts for the DSD - Defence Signals Directorate - which is Australia's spook agency copy of the fabled NSA. Indeed 2 adverts to a page, all in impeccable Flash with zany cool graphics.

Blech. DSD is inviting me - and anyone, seems they're not that fussy - to join their great cyber-warfare jihad against the anonymous planet (us? they ain't saying).

And they've started the campaign by stealing my cycles. No fair!

Not to mention, even Blind Freddy could tell what was wrong with their lame HR campaign. OK, maybe not, but here it is anyway: Firstly, people who are great defenders need great attack skills. Where do these budding ueber-cyber-guerillas get their skills from?

Attacking, is what. Hacking, to use the street parlance.

So we already have an issue - if you've led an exciting life of packet crime, you'll be knocked out in the security process. I know this at first hand - among the hundred-odd interesting factoids of my international life of mystery, the only time alarm bells went off : a mildly amusing moment a few dog-lives ago doing some crypto-manipulation and social-engineering for private pleasure.

Where are we then? Anyone we want working at DSD simply won't be allowed, and anyone who is allowed is suspicious for the same reason!

Which brings us to point 2: the security process. To work at DSD you require TOP SECRET. That's if you're the janitor, and even he's not allowed to know it. And, while it sounds sexy, security clearances are a drag of immense proportions. One year's delay *minimum* (some guy was telling me it took him 13 months to get his TS back again because it lapsed for 12 months ...).

It doesn't take a PhD in Economics to realise this is as dead a duck can be, and that's before we look at public service pay scales.

But wait, there's more! While you're waiting on that coveted TS to come through (and filling in reams of data concerning the mating habits of your first 10 pets) you can't work in the field. They can't offer you a job. They can't even offer you another job.

Bottom line: DSD are conducting a massive poaching campaign against .. themselves. They are advertising for people working in /other government departments/ who already have TS ... so they can steal them. Can you say beggar thy neighbour? DSD can. And when they do manage to steal the hard-won cyber-slave of some poor other schmuck department, they won't pay anywhere near enough to cover the anguish of TS.

Wake up guys!

Save your money! You've been doing this for 2 years now. The pool is fished out. Try another strategy. Sack your PR guy and hire some hackers. And, further, I've shut down Chrome... Cop that!

Posted by iang at April 15, 2012 02:47 AM | TrackBack